So, I belive I'm trapped in a loop. o`A`o!! And it has this feeling of being unbreakable, because even when it seems like things are working, it just goes back to suckage. Atleast in my messed up brain, thats how it appear. The things I would like to happen and the things that are really happening seem so different to me now, and I'm stuck in the middle, unable to/avoiding joining either one. As much as I would want to accept the idea of things never going to be like I'd want it too, the more I push myself away from whats really going on. Which in return only makes the stuff that hurts, to hurt more. And ends with that familiar sinsation